Change and self change is a natural part of life. We all have to change to progress in life. To quote As It Is, the most emo band you will ever hear (but so fucking good) “ We can’t change that nothing will stay the same”. And they are correct. No one can change the fact things will never stay the same and that change will happen.

Now some of you smart wee melons will know the mantra of Loveable Loser is ‘Never Change’ and will be thinking, wow that’s ironic, hypocritical and something worth starting a 2011 London’esqe riot over. It’s understandable. The whole ‘never change’ isn’t about being a full-on stubborn arsehole and refusing to change. It’s all about never changing who you truly are as a person. Change and progress as a human, but never change the fundamentals of who you are, never change for anyone else and never change the fact you put cereal in the bowl before milk.

The end of a year and especially the end of a decade brings up a time of self reflection. A time to reflect on many things about ourselves, what we have done and also what we haven’t done. Questions are asked and many thoughts are pondered. All these thoughts lead into the question of what do I want to achieve, want to change and resolve. Especially the question of what do I want to resolve.

What do I want my ‘New Years resolutions’ to be?

The term ‘New Years resolutions’ is commonly brought up and spoken about at the turn of a new year. It’s a standard conversation shared by many. People want to share what they’re planning on resolving in the New Year, whether it be losing weight, being more organised or simply stopping masturbating in McDonalds toilets! People will have New Years resolutions and will want to act upon them.

However with New Years resolutions are we setting ourselves up for failure? Are we realistically going to achieve our resolutions and finally stop chugging our wee brains out in McDonalds toilets?

Before a final answer is given let’s take a look at the word resolution.

Resolution is a strong word not just by the sound but by its definition, which is ‘a firm decision to do or not do something’. The key words in that sentence are ‘firm decision’. Resolutions are firm decisions of determination. When resolutions are set they are meant with strong intent, not half arsed like a 7 year olds attempt to wash the dishes. You set a resolution with the intent to complete said resolution regardless of what you have to do or how many bitches you need to slap in your way. It will be achieved and you will start wanking in your bed like a civilised wanker.

To answer the question earlier, realistically we aren’t going to achieve our resolutions. New Years resolutions are over hyped and rarely achieved. Now that’s not always the case, many people have managed to keep their resolutions but for the majority it seems like it never happens.

To reiterate the strength of the word. Adding resolution to it makes it sound like it’s more important and more necessary than simply deciding that you need to change something. That it has to be an instant change and not something that progresses over time. Changes need to be made over time and mostly won’t be an instant change. Yeah no shit, but when people make a resolution, the second they break it they don’t go back to it. When you try to change something it’s rarely going to be an instant change, so breaking your resolution very easily happens. When you try to lose weight, you will have cheat days and succumb to the burning desire to have a beautifully greasy takeaway from your favourite fast food takeaway establishment. Even people with more muscles than a French restaurant will have cheat days. It’s allowed and perfectly fine to have one of those cheat days.

Same case for every goal. Does it mean you failed because you’ve had a cheat day or fucked up once? No it certainly does not. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither were you – stopping touching the kosher sausage in a McDonald’s won’t happen straight away!

Stick to the process and you will be able to compete any resolutions you have.

Swankie – 23, Scotland. Loveable Loser.

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