24 Hours On Tinder In A Ski Town

Skiing and snow sports in general are very privileged sports. With even the smaller things such as appropriate winter jackets, gloves, trousers and hats being rather expensive, before you even move onto the cost of the equipment itself. For people of the  upper middle class to rich elite, ski holidays aren’t really things that can be afforded. Everything about snow sports holidays are expensive from renting equipment, lift passes, accommodation and even a simple bottle of fucking water. All these costs make ‘Ski Towns’ expensive places and not overly filled with your working class humans like myself.

‘Ski Towns’ tend to be filled by tourists and seasonal workers along with the local residents of the town, but it usually is more dominated by the tourists than the seasonal workers and locals. At the time of writing I’m currently residing in one of these Ski Towns working as a Ski Instructor(I learned to ski 2 years ago whilst working at a ski resort in Canada, don’t come for me, I’m not privileged). With my interest in experimenting to see what Tinder is like in different places, and my obvious love for being rejected globally, I decided to spend 24 Hours on Tinder in a Ski Town.

The town this took place in, is Kutchan, Japan. Kutchan is a ski town roughly 15 minutes out of Niseko Hirafu ski resort, on the northern island of Japan – Hokkaido. Hirafu is one of the largest ski resorts in Japan. A large tourist destination for people all across Asia, Australia and New Zealand looking to shred some powder and eat a fuck tonne of fried chicken from Lawsons. Japan and Hirafu are rather expensive places which unaffordable by the majority of families and people globally. It is a place where only the wealthy are able to visit, and then leave, without having to be living off cans of tuna and drinking their own piss to survive when they get home.

With me being a cheap as fuck, working class, fat, strange and the Walmart version of Post Malone, rejection seemed imminent, unless for some reason I manage to Titanic this and have a rich human fall for me. The most likely scenario would be a seasonal worker in the area decides they fancy the not so sexy, sexy Scottish stallion that I am, rather than a tourist. However I wasn’t overly filled with optimism. As much as it was a success in Tokyo, I mainly played that down to the sheer number of people who were in Tokyo, and Kutchan has significantly less people in comparison.

Just the same as my 24 hours on Tinder in Tokyo, I did this in 2 rounds. 1 round would consist of using all my swipes and whilst waiting for 12 hours to pass to be able to swipe again, recording those results down. I wasn’t concerned about messages from people, just interested in how many matches I could get. With not being directly in Hirafu as I undertook this, I set my radius to reach Hirafu so I wouldn’t be alienating the tourists.

Round 1 really sparked up with quite a few familiar faces of current work colleagues, whom I swiped left on purely as it could end up awkward in the work place, finding I got swiped left on when I swiped right on them. So kept work colleagues out of it. A common theme I faced was having to edit my distance settings to find more matches as I’d run out of people in the area, which was a pain in the left knee but hey ho.

Round 1 ended with 5 matches in total. So no surprise especially after the Tokyo experiment, I’m still not liked or wanted by girls. Still waiting on that miracle that a girl likes me, when it does I want a national holiday or at minimum a Mardi Gras style parade. However I did somehow manage to get some likes from boys, including one Aussie guy that was as beautiful as the popping noise a jar makes when you first open it. However they were wearing sunglasses in their photo, so they are most likely very visually impaired or blind. The other swipes were 4 Japanese guys who I don’t think speak English and must just want to play charades over dinner with my non Japanese speaking self. Overall I’d say that round 1 was a success. After not being filled with optimism, I left rather pleased with 5 matches and intrigued by what round 2 would provide.

Round 2 I was determined as fuck to get a match with girl, though it wasn’t not like I can work on that determination as all I’m doing is swiping and hoping, unless I become a catfish and revamp my whole profile and use pictures of my good looking pals – but I don’t fancy being featured on Catfish the TV Show. My expectation of getting matches was rather low based upon the amount of times I had to re-adjust my distance settings. However I left round 2 with a total of 3 matches! My status of being Swankie Hefner the fucking stud kebab was in tact, we can all stop worrying now. All my matches were boys but contrary to the previous day 2/3 were not Japanese. Overall a success even if it still haven’t got a single female match.

To conclude. Ski towns have less of a pool of people on Tinder in comparison to Tokyo and even other places, including small towns, I have used Tinder in. Constantly having to re-adjust settings to have a wider radius of who I can match with was a pain in the arse but shows there are a lot less single people in ski towns, most likely due to the sheer cost of staying here. Overall I’d call it a success, 8 matches in 24 hours with a smaller pool of people to match with even if I still can’t get any female matches At least the Japanese boys love me or just fancy that game of charades I was on about.

If anyone reading this is a genetic female, why don’t you females like me and why can’t I get any matches with your sex?

Swankie – 23, Scotland. Loveable Loser

Side-note. Not meaning to sound like I’m abusing the people who can afford a ski holiday. All are good intentions and just purely my awful attempts at humour. Financial wealth doesn’t judge a person character, just because you’re wealthy or from a wealthy family doesn’t make you a bad human. Being a part of the EDL makes you a bad human.

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