Living with people can be great, can spark some friendships and memories that will last a lifetime. Yet can also be worse than missing a train by a minute and can cause more enemies than Katie Hopkins does on a daily basis with her absolute shite. For a lot of people in the world being a housemate to someone is something that will be experienced. The experience may be great or bad, or even both with multiple experiences of living in a house with people. Regardless it’s an experience.
What makes it an experience is the people you live with. The different characteristics, the different personalities and the different views on if ketchup should be in the fridge or the cupboard (you’re wrong if you say the cupboard). Living with people brings out the best and worst inside you. You shall find yourself getting angsty like a 15 year old girl who wasn’t allowed to go to Chad’s birthday party, over absolutely nothing. The smallest things will cause an argument and a rift amongst the house, but at the same time, the most pointless ways of entertainment will bring you back together and provide some memories.
With that in mind, your best gal pals here at Loveable Loser have comprised a guide on how to be a good housemate.
CLEAN YOUR SHIT
One of the biggest things that can cause someone to be given the title of ‘shit housemate’ is not cleaning your shit up, a simple thing to do that so many people just aren’t able to comprehend. You can be living with some intelligent people who can speak 5 languages, be close to finding the cure to cancer and be able to tell you millions of facts about humanity but for some reason washing a fucking dish is too difficult for them. When in your own space you can be as messy as you want, you can model your room after Hiroshima in August 1945 but in the public space just be courteous and don’t leave it a state. Now you don’t have to leave the public areas looking military clean but just a common level of clean or at least an agreed level. Don’t be that human who doesn’t clean their shit, remember what would your mother say? Most likely I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed but still do your share in the house.
LOUDNESS ISN’T ALWAYS GOODNESS
One of the fun parts of being in a house filled with people is getting to fanny around, making noises and having a grand old gay time, but it comes with a time and a place. Well, the place is obviously the house but the time is the main thing. Early in the morning is never a good time to be loud, even if all the house is awake, having you bellow your good morning song to the house whilst stomping around like your playing Dance Dance Revolution. On the contrary late at night isn’t a good time either to be loud but can depend on an agreement. If you’re throwing a massive session for your chess clubs 2 week anniversary and your housemates are cool with that then party on chess club but don’t take the piss and overdo the noise. Keep it at a reasonable limit, if it’s a party most of the house will be cool with the noise being excessive but don’t overdo it, even if it’s 4 am and Darryl just shoved a bishop up their arse. Have a time where you need to keep the noise down to a minimal or gone at all, being the excessively noisy prick won’t make you loved by your house. Then again if you’re throwing a party for your two week anniversary of your chess club you probably aren’t getting much love by people.
JUST BE RESPECTFUL AND NICE
Honestly, it’s so simple but forgotten like the name of the person you had a one night stand with by far too many people. You don’t need to like your housemates, you don’t have to be besties for life and braid each other’s hair and talk about how cute Vladimir Putin is, but just be fucking nice. The amount of people you will live with that you don’t like will be higher than many would expect, yet if you’re a self-respecting human you’d be civil and sort of nice to them. You’d make simple pleasant conversation about how their day was or simply say hi and acknowledge they exist, not blank them upon a greeting and only acknowledge them by pulling weird faces when they say anything. No matter why you despise their existence and would give up your left knee for them to move out, you have to be civil and nice. Not doing those two simple, simple things you’re creating an awkward toxic environment where people are just uncomfortable by your presence in a room. A positive, non-toxic environment is so key to being content in your own home and creating those memorable moments you’ll keep for a long time. Just be a fucking nice person and not a massive nob who doesn’t say thank you when a door is held open for them, and we all know that is the worst type of human!
Swankie – 23, Scotland. Loveable Loser.