Disc Golf – ALTOS

So the concept of golf really appeals to you, having to accurately get something small into a hole to give yourself (and others) satisfaction in the least amount of tries possible, but golf just isn’t quite for you. Maybe it’s how fucking slow the game is, how the outfits scream ‘I’m a pompous prick’ a bit too much for you or maybe you’re just not a higher middleto upper class human and can’t afford the extortionate course fees and kit. Fear not though, there is a game for you. A game that is faster, a bit bigger and more weird than pompous, that still has the golf element you desire. That game is the sport of disc (frisbee) golf. Yes it is a sport, and yes you may look like a little like a spud whilst playing as the attire is the same as golf, you can’t escape the pompous prick looking clothes unfortunately. 

Disc golf is like an edgy child, not overly edgy where it’s wearing long leather jackets and boots with spikes all over them but just edgy enough that it’s not seen as a disappointment to its Dad: regular golf. The game has many features that are the exact same with the rest being tweaked for use with a frisbee. Like it’s Dad, the aim of the game is to get the object into the hole or in the case of disc golf, a mad target comprised of chains attached around a centre pole that the frisbee hits, landing inside a basket, in the least amount of attempts. 

Again like it’s parent, it’s scored the same. The overall winner is the player with the least amount of attempts taken in all theholes combined, with each hole being unique in how many attempts is considered to be the average or par as it’s known.All the other catchy and coolio terms such as Birdie, Bogey, Eagle and Albatross (cue the song) are used to describe the relation of how many shots the player took to what the par is. Penalty points are also added but they’re a bit too technical and not worth a mention for this article; if you want to learn them look them up yourselves you lazy squids. 

Games are typically played in 9 hole or 18 hole formats, with each hole having a starting area to tee off and being uniquewith its distance and terrain. The PDGA (Professional Disc Golf Association), aye it has its own governing body it’s that serious, dictates that the distance of hole cannot be less than 100ft (30m). Most holes however are an average of 200-240ft (61-73m) each having its own uniqueness to it from itshazards to its boundaries, its distance to its ground elevation and even its own mandatory flight path. One difference the game has compared to its Dad is that holes can be in amongst trees, a throwback to its origins of being played in parks where a marked tree was the target.

Disc golf definitely came from the scrotum of golf and is its offspring, everything is basically the same except just tweaked a little. Players even have their own types of frisbee that do a certain job and are used mainly in certain parts of the course. They even call them the putter, the driver and the mid range frisbee, which are fucking similar to the names of golf clubs.

To call it a popular and well known game wouldn’t be a correct statement, however it is better known than most would expect. Across the globe, as of 2019 according to our pal the PGDA, there are 8,854 courses with 75% being in the US,with a total of 53,366 registered players. Not as popular as it’sparent yet, but a more entertaining alternative due to its faster completion of play and less rich white old men playing. Still a rather niche sport but with a diehard audience, it’s certainly a sport that would be incredibly fun to play, especially whilstsmashed with your pals, chucking a piece of plastic at something that isn’t that pal you love to annoy!

Swankie – 23, Scotland. Loveable Loser.

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