Corona Guilt

If on New Years Eve 2019, you from the future came back in time and told you that 4 months into 2020 you will be confined to the walls of your house and the world will be going into madness, you would tell them to go eat a carrot and fuck off. Well if that would’ve happened, you would think you’ve gone mad not the world, but the point being if you were told what the world would be like 4 months in battling a pandemic you wouldn’t believe it. It’s been such a curveball to everyone’s daily life that not even The Simpson’s could’ve predicted this one, and look at their track record!

At the time of writing in April 2020, Corona Virus (COVID-19) has been running rampant throughout the globe causing a mass amount of people to be infected and unfortunately pass away from the virus. It’s become such a global crisis that normal life has come to a standstill and our lives now consist of staying inside, scratching our arses and watching something about a tiger and a king. For many people, this is a huge deal for them and they’re losing their minds, but for the resident stay at home humans such as gamers and agoraphobiacs, it’s just a normal time for them. Only being able to go to the shops and be outside for exercise such as a run once a day is mentally draining a lot of society. Even the people who are (maybe not so in some cases) lucky to still be working and having that kill the days are feeling the effects of the lockdowns and isolations. It’s a tough time for all.

Well not exactly all.

There are some lucky humans who are still able to live life semi normally and not have any restrictions on what they do. People who are lucky enough to be working and/or staying in countries where there really isn’t any lockdowns or forced self isolations, where they can still roam around and even get a big old greasy McDonalds. A dream right now for a lot of the population in the world.

For me, I’m one of those lucky humans and girl not to rub it in but it’s great. It’s great to be able to go outside regularly, to have life basically be normal with only a few things closed and have your complete freedom. That’s the biggest thing is having that freedom. Staying inside is something I love and I can’t happily survive being in my house in lockdown but having the freedom to do what I please is the main thing. To have that choice whether today I want to stay in all day or if I want to go do something in the big bad scary world. Despite how great it is to be where I am, this sense of guilt comes with the freedom I currently have.

To put it in an analogy, imagine your best pal is completely starving but isn’t able to eat anything and you’re sitting there across from them eating the sexiest pizza knowing to humankind. You’re loving the pizza and filling yourself up but you have the guilt of your best pal completely starving stuck with ya even though you both know they can’t eat anything. If that makes sense. Right now I’m so grateful to have the freedoms I’m having but seeing people I care about having a rough time and having to fly kick an old lady in the face over a loaf of bread in the supermarket, isn’t that fun.

You want to be there for your loved ones and all back home but there’s really no point in going back. Even with the guilt, it’s much better for you to stay where you are as to why would you give up your freedom to go into a situation that’s worse and tougher? I certainly am not going to. Right now I’m in Japan where the first corona boom happened in early February and sort of died down. As of the time of writing 8 areas of Japan have had restrictions applied and told to stay inside, including the giant that is Tokyo, but where I am, nothing really. If I go home, I’ll be not making any money and no possibility to get a job. If I stay in Japan I’ll have more chance to secure a job on my working holiday visa even with only knowing 5 Japanese phrases and words, with one being fish.

So I’m staying put, as guilty as I’ll feel, it’s the best move for me currently and hey you gotta think of yourself at times. Keep being safe humans!

Swankie – 24, Scotland. Loveable Loser.

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