Being Alone

A few weeks ago, Still Single As Fuck was posted. An article all about being content with single life and trying to value yourself within yourself, not solely within someone else. Still Single As Fuck was a quality article and a great success for me that touched on a couple of important points and themes. The main theme obviously being loneliness.

Loneliness is seen as this awful thing where we need to constantly be surrounded by people and communicating in some form or other with someone, to avoid even being close to dealing with this apparent negative feeling. When really, feeling lonely, for the most part, is more of a natural feeling than being tired after running 20 miles, whilst listening to a podcast about the science of making a stamp. It’s not something we should really fear. It’s perfectly normal to feel lonely from time to time. You may have thousands of friends, have a loving relationship or have hundreds of ‘stan’ accounts that will die for you like you’re a member of BTS; you at times will still experience loneliness.

A lot of people also view loneliness as a disease of some sort, exclaiming that you suffer from it, when actually loneliness can be celebrated and can be a good thing. It’s not all bad.

In life, it’s said that we need people to survive, which is entirely true. Yet we also need to be alone at times as well to survive, especially from a mental standpoint. It’s all about finding the perfect medium. The medium where you’re surrounding yourself with people for periods of time whether it be physically or electronically, whilst also spending that time away from people avoiding having to deal with such shite as seeing that nephew that you secretly hate. It’s a bit complicated to achieve this for some people especially those with families, but it’s entirely possible. You can find ways to be alone, even if it’s just having a big heavy shite in the bathroom or being a slut by showering naked.  

A lot of people, like myself, actually prefer to be alone more and/or actually really need to be alone at times for their mental health purposes. Personally, I really enjoy being alone but I also really need to have my own space to be alone, where I can be completely away from humans. I enjoy the company of others, I enjoy being around good people and atmospheres, and a lot of people know that I video call a lot to speak to pals, but I can’t cope being around people for too long. It gets too much for me and makes me feel very on edge, to the point where I need to go away and be alone before I completely shut down or have a lovely wee panic attack. I can’t share a bedroom with people and struggle hard when staying in hostels for the long term – especially the beds with no curtains around it. Being alone for the most part is something I need so badly I once, when I had to share a room for a while, even laid down inside a cupboard, which I named Kevin, to be alone in my own space. Yes, that was a thing and I miss you Kevin the cupboard.

The good thing though is, I actually really enjoy being alone, so much so that I’m awful at replying to messages as I don’t want to be in contact with people at times. For a year I didn’t have a SIM card in my phone and couldn’t be contacted unless I was on the internet. People know I’m notorious for not replying, and even leaving peoples messages unread for up to weeks. I just prefer to be alone compared to being around people, but it doesn’t mean I hate being around people. I see myself as an extroverted introvert. As much as being alone is a major need and preference for me, I’m aware that too much of being alone isn’t a good thing at all. You need to interact with humans, you need to speak to your loved ones and you need to tell people on YouTube that you made the first comment. Yet you also need to reap the benefits of shutting yourself away.

Shutting yourself away from the world is beneficial for regrouping and resetting. The resetting of your mind gets you reflecting on everything from your interactions with people, where you want to be in life, what your goals are and why you’re never going to tan a bottle of Absinthe ever again. It can make you feel whole, it can change the course of your life and it can help you make a decision you’ve been pondering.

You don’t have to be a hermit or an introvert to appreciate this, you can still be the most extroverted person in the world and find a form of tranquillity in being completely alone. You just need to remember, loneliness is something you should embrace from time to time. It’s good for you.

Swankie – 24, Scotland. Loveable Loser.

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