In an absolutely beautiful city that’s home to roughly 1.5 million, you would think someone who is as beautiful as the city is would be able to find a match right? You would certainly think so!
Surely in the vibrant city of Puebla with its large population, there would surely be someone who has no standards and match with me. Or maybe be Scotland enthusiasts and see me as marriage material so they can move to Scotland and be able to spend the rest of their days eating a pizza crunch whilst tanning some Irn Bru. Obviously the latter being as likely as your dad coming back from the shops with the milk, especially since Mexican food is as sexy as your duvet on a cold night.
Regardless, in our latest edition of 24 Hours on Tinder, we are in the vibrant and incredibly beautiful city of Puebla, Mexico.
Now Mexico is a lovely country with the Latin America charm that sucks you in with its gravitational pull.Mexican people love a fiesta and an overall good time regardless if it’s tunes pumping loudly or just chatting in the streets. They’re some of the most welcoming people on this side of the world and love to share their culture and their fucking amazing food with you. It’s easy to love Mexico, but is it easy to find love? Especially if you’re a big old bowl of Queer-rios like myself? Let’s have a look and see how well I fared in my 24 hours on Tinder in Puebla.
It would be wrong to call Mexico a homophobic country, it’s thousands of miles away from the likes of Chechnya and Tanzania, but there is this attitude of machismo where it’s expected for a genetic male to be very masculine. Even though you certainly can be a very masculine queer man, but in Mexico being an LGBTQ male it’s seen as you not being masculine to a lot of people which can lead to some negative attitudes from a few people. For genetic females, it’s expected for you to be typically feminine but it’s way more ok for a woman to not be typically feminine than it is for a genetic male. It’s that really fucking annoying masculinity complex that’s imposed on genetic males by those shitey society norms that’s prominent across the globe. In Mexico, it seems more prominent than Scotland. Regardless though, from my first round of swiping it seems like there is a thriving LGBTQ community with a large number of queer males on tinder.
In the first round of swiping, there were mainly guys and the potential female matches were in the severe minority. I’m not entirely sure if it’s Tinder’s algorithm giving me the best chance to match with someone since my track record of not having many girls matching with me or if Puebla is just a big sausage fest of a city. Despite this, we matched with a girl on only our second swipe which caused a celebration like I’ve just scored the game-winning goal in extra time in the Champions League final for a team like Bolton Wanderers. After that remarkable moment, we matched with 16 guys to close out round one.
Round two was a massive success but a painful success due to matching with so many people that it took forever to use up all my swipes with the ‘it’s a match’ screen popping up so frequently that my iPad couldn’t handle it and slowed the process down to a snail-like pace. Not to sound ungrateful for the whopping 39 male matches, including with a Jesus who I’ll not be getting on my knees and praising. 39 male matches and one female match is absolute scenes though and just cements that people love a tattoo-less Post Malone stunt double that has wank in their name.
Puebla managed to produce a staggering total of 57 with 2 of them possessing vaginas. An incredible amount giving the negative factor that I speak the same amount of Spanish as a 6-month-old baby and did not attempt to make a Spanish bio with Google translate. Let’s just say if I can get 56 likes in 24 hours on Tinder in Puebla, Mexico, think of the amount all you typically good looking humans could get.