Motivation

To quote one of the worlds most known prophets, inspirational speakers and an all-around scholar, Deryck Whibley of Sum 41 “Motivation such an aggravation. Accusations, don’t even know how to take them. Inspiration’s getting hard to fake it. Concentration never hard to break it”. Yes, inspirational words that will get you motivated and pumped up as if you were about to go into a long heated Twitter debate about politics.

Obviously not the most motivational words but a very relatable chorus to a catchy early 2000’s pop-punk song, aka the peak of music. Certainly relatable to all fellow humanoids who have caused permanent arse marks on the couch whilst stagnating these past months. This upbeat and fast-paced song by Sun 41 is a bit of an anthem the past few months for many people as having motivation right now is a struggle. A huge struggle. A struggle only comparable to opening a tough jam jar whilst your hands are coated in butter and kebab grease. Life is been rather difficult for many having to adapt to a new norm that a lot of peoples motivation has plummeted harder and faster than the crash of the Japanese Yen in the ’90s.

Motivation is key to life and survival. It may be seen as this thing that we get here and there and is tossed around the frying pan of emotions waiting for it to be cooked up for us to consume. To have a feeling of being motivated or driven is something that we need to strive for more, to be more focused, driven and like other positive adjectives in the past participle. The more motivated we are the more shit we get done, the more we are likely to succeed in everything we do and the more likely we start to cut about in loose cut vests with cheesy motivation quotes such as ‘Pain is temporary (unless you contract a really painful terminal disease/disability or be told you can never eat cheese again)’. Motivation seems fairly simple, get it and go complete some goals and be productive with whatever you are motivated to do, right? Well actually, it’s a big fat naw pal.

Getting yourself motivated or staying motivated long term is really tough and only certain types of people have their motivation cap cemented onto their head. Going from feeling demotivated, demoralised and generally like a big old bag of shit, to running around your house getting pumped up and rearing to go with almost too much motivation, but not enough to cause all your veins to pop out turning you into a junkies dream body, is very hard. We could spend ages talking about how hard it is to get motivated and get out of this slump you’re in, but everyone knows what it feels like, it’s when your demotivation consumes you, swallows you up and spits you out along the path of stagnation (cue dramatic sounds) is when it’s an issue and the hardest thing to overcome.

The path of stagnation, other than sounding like a really shit book by that one prick who has a hatred towards motivational speakers like myself, Jésus and Buzz Aldrin, is generally a horrible path. This path leads you through to the old creeky wrestling ring where your motivation goes up in a handicap match against your procrastination and despair; where after you eventually defeat that pathetic excuse for a tag team, who don’t even have a cool tag team name like the Poontang Pirates, you find yourself in motivation city.

The problem is, the battle against the pairing of procrastination and despair can last for a long time causing your estimated journey time to exit off the path of stagnation to grow, leaving you stranded in this fight with no end in sight. Finding that mad flashy and spectacular finishing move, such as a quick kick to the boaby (penis) and running away with your arms flaring in the air, takes time to source out and perfect to avoid being spat back out on to this path or at minimal get you off the path faster than you run when your mother full names you. Getting to motivation city requires effort and a lot of working out what makes you get motivated. Whether it’s a certain playlist that gets you motivated and in the zone, or working out at what time you’re typically most productive in the day and plan to be productive in that time, or even if it’s making a shrine in your house dedicated to whatever goal you’re desperate to achieve, do everything it takes to become more motivated. When those things start to become a bit of an annoyance or stop motivating you, find more ways to keep yourself motivated. Do whatever it takes to stay motivated, even if it involves having to lick a wall in diagonal lines 17 times each morning whilst you sing the Mongolian national anthem in your head.

Motivation is a bit of a tricky one. Remember it’s ok to have periods where you’re just don’t feel like doing anything and are being a Demotivated De’Quishason, just got to find some way to get out of your funk eventually and live the best life over in motivation city with all gals.

Swankie – 24, Scotland. Loveable Loser.

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